A glass of wine a day keeps the psychiatrist away

Just kidding. Tonight I enjoyed my first glass of wine in over 10 months and I feel so guilty. Landon is asleep and it's literally not even considered a glass it's so small

but I still just feel so bad about doing it while he's around. I DESERVE THIS DAMN GLASS OF WINE AFTER PUSHING A HUMAN OUT OF ME OKAY? OK. In all seriousness though, did any of you other first time mommies out there feel guilty about drinking around your little one? 

You made me a mother

Today is my first Mother's Day. I was thinking about how amazing it is that I finally get to celebrate being a mom but then I realized that if it weren't for Christian and Landon, I wouldn't be a mother. That is why I'm choosing to celebrate them today as well as my own mother, and grandmothers. Without them, it wouldn't even be possible. I love each and every one of you more than words can explain. Happy Mother's Day to all of you new mommies out there, enjoy your day and your family. Today is the ONLY day you will be able to say it is your FIRST. 

I made you, but you made me a mother. I love you Landon. 

One month!

I'm a little late posting this but Landon had his one month check up yesterday! Here's the little dudes stats from birth to now and an adorable picture of his daddy loving on him :) 

4/4/14: 9 lbs 7 oz 21.5 inches long

5/7/14: 12 lbs 1oz 22 & 1/4 inches long

CHUNKY BOY! 

p.s. Landon may possibly wind up being a little ginger baby. A very very cute one at that. 

#redballoonsforryan

Earlier today as I was scrolling through my Instagram feed I came across picture after picture of the most adorable fire cracker red headed little boy. His name is Ryan and he was hit and killed by a car on Friday. As I was reading about this tragic event I looked down at my precious little boy and held him a little closer. This happening has reminded me that things could be worse. I have been blessed with the most amazing gift, I get to be a mother. I get to raise a child. Sometimes we all need to remind ourselves that although we may not have picture perfect lives, we always have something or someone to be thankful for. 

I am thankful for having a roof over my head

I am thankful to be employed.

I am thankful for my mom. I wouldn't be where I am today without her. 

I am thankful for my sweet, precious baby boy Landon. 

I am thankful that Landon is happy, healthy, and well provided for. 

I am thankful he has an amazing father in his life. 

And most importantly, I am thankful to be alive. 

Style changes with motherhood?

I don't know if it's just me, but around my 7th month of pregnancy my style did a complete 360 and ever since I've been digging my mothers old Tommy Hilfiger button ups out of her closet. Of course I never could actually BUTTON them up until last week. *SPOILER ALERT* Post partum chub is a bitch to get rid of. I don't care who you are or what your body type is, it's fucking hard. Anyway, here is my "ootd" or for those of you internet illiterates "outfit of the day" ( I just recently googled the acronym myself. Oops.) 

Please excuse my chicken legs.

So there it is. Two sizes too small jeans, a striped button down and some really freaking adorable cranberry flats. Any other new mommies out there experience the whole "I'm turning into my mother" phase fashion wise?

Introduction (or whatever you want to call it)

The day I found out I was pregnant was the most terrifying day of my life. As much as I would like to say that my boyfriend Christian and I couldn't have been happier, I can't. So I won't. 

Gosh, why did I wait so long to write about this stuff? 

Anyway, from what I remember it was scorching hot outside that day (what summer day in Florida isn't?) I had been thinking it may have been a possibility but who am I kidding? I'm invincible right? Not. 4 pregnancy tests later I was proved wrong on the whole invincible thing. I don't know why I didn't think to pee on those little magical sticks sooner. My uterus was practically screaming "BABY ON BOARD" in my face. Nausea, check. Vomiting, check. And might I add that I puked rather gloriously in front of my boyfriends boss in the parking lot of Chipotle. Period? Nope! Nowhere to be found. My breasts also felt like The Hulk was attempting to rip them off. Fun stuff. 

My boyfriend was working when I peed on those suckers so here I was freaking out at my friends parents house until he got off..at 10 that night. Pretty sure I shit my pants for a good 6 plus hours. 

We cried together. That is one thing I am so grateful for, I didn't have to cry alone about it. We both knew our lives were changed drastically in a matter of seconds and we both knew we were no where near ready for this sweet, precious, little life we had created. Then again, who the hell is? I'm not going to go into extreme detail about everything right now so, long story short, I went psycho hormonal bitch status (aka pregnant, yes pregnant women should be locked in a room with a personal chef and masseuse) C and I parted ways about 6 months into my pregnancy, we had minimal contact up until the night I went into labor. I went into pre term labor about 7 months in and thankfully, the amazing team of doctors and nurses were able to keep my baby in my uterus until he decided to pop out on his own at 40+3 weeks. April 4th, 2014 is the day my life began. The day I found out what it means to love. The day I will never forget. Landon Gavin Chambers was born at 1:23 pm weighing 9 pounds 7 ounces and measuring 22.5 inches long (yes, I delivered vaginally and without complications, GO ME!)

I now have a happy and healthy one month old.

He has an amazing daddy who loves him to pieces.

I couldn't be happier with how things have been going. As for C and I's relationship? We're working on it, taking it one day and one step at a time. 

Now it's time for me to go shove some food in my mouth while baby boy is milk drunk and passed out in his crib.